Some of my oldest friends all the way from my university days were commenting the other day on the woman I am looking for. They say she has to be attractive, she has to have the ability to assist me at my career, and/or at home. Basically a woman I can take out and keep in. A perfect woman, in their words.
Although I was resisting to that idea, I remembered that my previous relationship did accuse me of "looking for that perfect woman".
So, I asked my oldest friends who are all by the way, either married or getting married, weren't your spouses looking for perfect women when they found you? My friends couldn't respond to that.
Then, I remember what my boss told me once, if you want to marry someone, you don't look for the best one, you look for the fittest one. I agree with that statement, I am far from perfect myself, and I shouldn't be looking for the perfect.
I think what bothers me is that I have never asked my better half to assist in my career, but I do need them to understand what I do. To have my oldest friends not knowing who my "perfect woman" should be is a little disappointing.
But I am still mixed up in that looking for the perfect or looking for the fittest.
10/28/2009
10/26/2009
As fast as she can...
One friend asked me, why are you angry against couples, why the A, B, C list friends? I said I am not angry at you, I envy you guys, it is just that every time I hang out with you guys, it reminds me that I am by myself. I am not alone, but I do feel lonely.
When I see my non A list friends, the closeness, the interaction, that is something I want.
It doesn't mean I cannot be alone, in fact, I cherish the time I can do things my own way, by myself, without attachment.
There is a joke I heard on TV the other day,
A girl speeding down a country road, is stopped by a police, the cop says to the girl,
"I have been waiting for you the whole day."
The girl says to the police,
"I came here as fast as I can!"
I guess I just have to wait a little bit longer...
When I see my non A list friends, the closeness, the interaction, that is something I want.
It doesn't mean I cannot be alone, in fact, I cherish the time I can do things my own way, by myself, without attachment.
There is a joke I heard on TV the other day,
A girl speeding down a country road, is stopped by a police, the cop says to the girl,
"I have been waiting for you the whole day."
The girl says to the police,
"I came here as fast as I can!"
I guess I just have to wait a little bit longer...
10/25/2009
Your home is...
According to my recent survey, 58% of you think North America is your home, 16% of you think Asia is your home, and one of you think your home is in North/South Pole!?! Hope all of you find peace and quiet at your home, wherever that is... even in North Pole.
10/22/2009
Do you lie?
An Irish poet once said, "Ask me no questions, and I will tell you no lies."
Lying is something we do daily. We lie to our parents, to our clients, to our co-workers, to our kids (yes, that includes you daddy kevin), to our spouses, to our love ones.
I remember there was a study done on how many times a person lie each day, I couldn't recall the number, but it was pretty high. But, do you know who do we lie to the most? Ourselves!
Yes, we lie to ourselves all the time, when we say "this is my last smoke", "I will sleep for another 5 min", "I am not fat", the most common? "It is going to be alright", even though you have no assurance that things are going to be alright and you know it is NOT going to be alright.
We lie in order to get through our lives easily, we lie to make ourselves feel better, but there is got to be a point where you find yourself not be able to lie to yourself anymore, that is when you have to find a way to face yourself, and grow...
Lying is something we do daily. We lie to our parents, to our clients, to our co-workers, to our kids (yes, that includes you daddy kevin), to our spouses, to our love ones.
I remember there was a study done on how many times a person lie each day, I couldn't recall the number, but it was pretty high. But, do you know who do we lie to the most? Ourselves!
Yes, we lie to ourselves all the time, when we say "this is my last smoke", "I will sleep for another 5 min", "I am not fat", the most common? "It is going to be alright", even though you have no assurance that things are going to be alright and you know it is NOT going to be alright.
We lie in order to get through our lives easily, we lie to make ourselves feel better, but there is got to be a point where you find yourself not be able to lie to yourself anymore, that is when you have to find a way to face yourself, and grow...
10/21/2009
One day at Wendy's
On my way to my last wedding of the year, I stopped by Wendy's for lunch. On my way in, I saw a mother and son talking in the parking lot, while the dad is sitting in the van talking loudly to them. I didn't pay much attention to them and I entered the restaurant.
After I ordered and set down. I saw a few young families around me, there were one elderly couple sitting near the door. The elderly man had respirtory tubes in his nose, taking every spoonful of chili required a few breath.
Two friends sitting near me started talking about the weather, one young man commented how it is always blue sky in Australia and it only rains 2 weeks a year in Austrilia. Judging by his accent, he was probably from Australia. Aussies love to brag about their country, I thought to myself.
In the corner, the young parents are complaining about how much it used to cost for an order of Wendy's fries in the old days. They complained about having to spend $30 on a family lunch at Wendy's. I thought, I will probably do that one day to people younger than me.
The elderly man waved at the kid in the young family, he smiled, and the whole family smiled.
I got up and left, the woman I saw in the parking lot was still there, but was doing weird stuff, she was jumping on and off the curb and was counting and making strange noise. From the look she did not look mentally stable.
Just another day at Wendy's...
After I ordered and set down. I saw a few young families around me, there were one elderly couple sitting near the door. The elderly man had respirtory tubes in his nose, taking every spoonful of chili required a few breath.
Two friends sitting near me started talking about the weather, one young man commented how it is always blue sky in Australia and it only rains 2 weeks a year in Austrilia. Judging by his accent, he was probably from Australia. Aussies love to brag about their country, I thought to myself.
In the corner, the young parents are complaining about how much it used to cost for an order of Wendy's fries in the old days. They complained about having to spend $30 on a family lunch at Wendy's. I thought, I will probably do that one day to people younger than me.
The elderly man waved at the kid in the young family, he smiled, and the whole family smiled.
I got up and left, the woman I saw in the parking lot was still there, but was doing weird stuff, she was jumping on and off the curb and was counting and making strange noise. From the look she did not look mentally stable.
Just another day at Wendy's...
10/15/2009
One Week
What if your doctor tells you that you are at final stage of cancer, and you should start radiation treatment as soon as possible, even with that, your survival rate is about 10%, and probably won't last more than 1 year?
What would you do?
In the movie, "One week", the main character was hit with that situation. After he had a cup of coffee from Tim Hortons, he chose to travel across Canada from Toronto to Tofino. To search for a mythical creature his dad told him about when he was a kid.
This is a Canadian Travel Film, with tons of Canadian Scenery and Canadian References. Even if you don't like the dark undertone, you will like the film. It is very very Canadian. You should try it too, especially if you miss Canada!
What would you do?
In the movie, "One week", the main character was hit with that situation. After he had a cup of coffee from Tim Hortons, he chose to travel across Canada from Toronto to Tofino. To search for a mythical creature his dad told him about when he was a kid.
This is a Canadian Travel Film, with tons of Canadian Scenery and Canadian References. Even if you don't like the dark undertone, you will like the film. It is very very Canadian. You should try it too, especially if you miss Canada!
10/12/2009
比大小
最近好朋友與女朋友的父母第一次正式見面,有點緊張,我就跟他說,對方的爸爸要比較小心,因為第一次見面的男人,都會比大小.(原版的字眼比較限制,遭抗議)
這麼比大小,有點像小時候在學校會比鉛筆盒,比書包,比便當一樣.男人見面時,總會問對方的職業是什麼,打個底,看一下對方的穿著,開什麼車,再決定用什麼方式對他,什麼都好,可能就恭敬一點.自己就會衡量,誰混得比較好,吃的比較開.態度就不一樣啦.
孰不知,只看外表常常會出問題,但第一印象還是非常重要.
回到我的好朋友,第一次非正式見到對方爸爸的時候,剛好他正要處理樹枝,手上提著電鋸,我們朋友在旁邊都替他擦了把冷汗,很怕對方爸爸反應不對,我們就要各自逃生.所以,正式見面時,記得要夠大,才可以配得上他的女兒,但不要太大,有功高震主就不好了.
這是男人,我想女人多半也會做類似的事,先看場子裡哪一個女生最正,就靠過去,得到一點眼光的折射,如果是自己,就可以搔首弄姿,心想我混得最好,不是嗎?
這麼比大小,有點像小時候在學校會比鉛筆盒,比書包,比便當一樣.男人見面時,總會問對方的職業是什麼,打個底,看一下對方的穿著,開什麼車,再決定用什麼方式對他,什麼都好,可能就恭敬一點.自己就會衡量,誰混得比較好,吃的比較開.態度就不一樣啦.
孰不知,只看外表常常會出問題,但第一印象還是非常重要.
回到我的好朋友,第一次非正式見到對方爸爸的時候,剛好他正要處理樹枝,手上提著電鋸,我們朋友在旁邊都替他擦了把冷汗,很怕對方爸爸反應不對,我們就要各自逃生.所以,正式見面時,記得要夠大,才可以配得上他的女兒,但不要太大,有功高震主就不好了.
這是男人,我想女人多半也會做類似的事,先看場子裡哪一個女生最正,就靠過去,得到一點眼光的折射,如果是自己,就可以搔首弄姿,心想我混得最好,不是嗎?
10/07/2009
The Crazy Ivan
In one of the best submarine movie of all time, "The Hunt of Red October", when the captain of the Russian Submarine (Red October) was about to defect to USA, another US submarine found Red October and followed it in its blind spot so it cannot be detected. However, RO suddenly made a few extreme turns, making the USA submarine very nervous, thinking they were been discovered, Jack Ryan the main character told the captain of the USA ship not to panic, 'cause Russian submarines are known to make crazy turns to make sure there is no ship following them. They call this dangerous maneuver, "Crazy Ivan"
I told this story to my friend when he was commenting on how girls in seemly stable relationships will sometimes want to "think about" their relationships all of the sudden, or they want to have "breaks" all of the sudden. All of sudden, out of blue, no fights, no arguments...
They just want to check if guys are still following them, just want to make sure they are still in right places.
So, like a "Crazy Ivan", there are only 2 things you can do, keep going and ram into the leading submarine (the girl), or shutting down engine and sitting idle. In the movie, they shut down the engine and wait for Red October to stop the "Crazy Ivan" and continue the course, and I suggest my male friends to do the same...
I told this story to my friend when he was commenting on how girls in seemly stable relationships will sometimes want to "think about" their relationships all of the sudden, or they want to have "breaks" all of the sudden. All of sudden, out of blue, no fights, no arguments...
They just want to check if guys are still following them, just want to make sure they are still in right places.
So, like a "Crazy Ivan", there are only 2 things you can do, keep going and ram into the leading submarine (the girl), or shutting down engine and sitting idle. In the movie, they shut down the engine and wait for Red October to stop the "Crazy Ivan" and continue the course, and I suggest my male friends to do the same...
生日與夢想
三十歲之前的生日, 我會給自己一些目標/夢想, 這是我29歲的清單
5 Year List: (只剩兩年)
My own place (either 300k condo or 400k townhouse, have to keep up with
inflation)
Laser eye surgery (might need mental support, will do after the next wish)
Fall in love (yes, and make it last a little longer than 1 month)
30 million portfolio (my clients', not mine)
Travel to Greece (the Aegean Sea...)
The small list for this year:
Hit golf ball straight 80% of the time (at least with 7 ~ 9 irons)
Learn how to drive a stick (might need friends' cars)
Learn to play guitar (maybe self-learning?)
Get Insurance licensed (again...)
Make a new 5 year list (if the above doesn't work :) )
過了三年, 好像只有保險證照和學吉他有執行, 但那個五年計畫一點都不難達成, 明天要做就可以了.
今年生日前, 與好友吃飯的時候, 說到年輕時的夢想, 其中包括93年的CIVIC, 而且那時候一點都不覺得這輩子有機會開雙B的車, 現在看來, 夢想太小了, 不過這應該是環境的關係, 有點悲觀, 有點保守. 看我三年前的清單, 還是以實際/物質的東西多,都不難達成.
看來, 人真的有夢才偉大, 雖然不要偉大的夢, 但要夠大的夢才更有衝力.
今年目標簡單多了, 事業順利, 身體健康, 穩定愛情…
5 Year List: (只剩兩年)
My own place (either 300k condo or 400k townhouse, have to keep up with
inflation)
Laser eye surgery (might need mental support, will do after the next wish)
Fall in love (yes, and make it last a little longer than 1 month)
30 million portfolio (my clients', not mine)
Travel to Greece (the Aegean Sea...)
The small list for this year:
Hit golf ball straight 80% of the time (at least with 7 ~ 9 irons)
Learn how to drive a stick (might need friends' cars)
Learn to play guitar (maybe self-learning?)
Get Insurance licensed (again...)
Make a new 5 year list (if the above doesn't work :) )
過了三年, 好像只有保險證照和學吉他有執行, 但那個五年計畫一點都不難達成, 明天要做就可以了.
今年生日前, 與好友吃飯的時候, 說到年輕時的夢想, 其中包括93年的CIVIC, 而且那時候一點都不覺得這輩子有機會開雙B的車, 現在看來, 夢想太小了, 不過這應該是環境的關係, 有點悲觀, 有點保守. 看我三年前的清單, 還是以實際/物質的東西多,都不難達成.
看來, 人真的有夢才偉大, 雖然不要偉大的夢, 但要夠大的夢才更有衝力.
今年目標簡單多了, 事業順利, 身體健康, 穩定愛情…
10/02/2009
(Everything I Do) I Do It For You
Going to see Bryan Adams' concert tonight, have been telling friends for months, unfortunately, only people at certain age group show any interests in his concert. Even though I have been to a few concerts already this year, I am actually more excited about going to this one. Maybe the seating isn't that great, row 31 at orpheum theatre means the last row on ground level. Even for those who don't really know Bryan Adams, you must have heard this song.
(Everything I Do) I Do It For You
Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - Ya I'd die for you
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
(Everything I Do) I Do It For You
Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - Ya I'd die for you
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you
10/01/2009
Love requires build-up according to you
In my recent poll, 5 people out of 9 (not a stat significant poll in any means), believes in building up feels when it comes to love, 3 people still believe in love at first sight. While one person doesn't know anymore, that would be myself...
9/29/2009
愛情初體驗 – SPEED DATING
原以為我不會需要到去試這種活動, 在社團的壓力與誘惑下, 還是參加了.
一開始, 就遲到了近一個小時, 朋友先打電話來, 問我去了哪, 我趁機問我們有沒有對手, 朋友說沒有, 我才慢慢的過去, 還是自己意願不高, 對這活動的期望不高.
場地內, 人聲鼎沸, 有點像股票市場, 也有點像廟會, 我被安排到自己的座位上, 與認識的朋友交換了一個眼神, 他的眼神有點憂傷, 我的眼神大概是你居然騙我, 哪有漂亮的對象! 有三分一的女生不是台灣人, 但百分百的女生是要找對象的…
兩分半認識一個人很困難, 聊一模一樣的東西也很困難, 女生大多問我工作是什麼, 男生大多問女生年紀是多少, 很明顯看得出來男女要的東西的差異.
最後, 每個人要選自己喜歡的對象, 雖然自己沒有喜歡的對象, 但還是有不知哪來的花痴自信, 相信應該還是有幾個會喜歡我, 結果… 一個都沒有, 二十二個女生一個都沒選我, 對自信有很大的打擊.
和朋友吃飯, 被笑了一頓, 一是嫌我說話太油, 二是說我過胖, 感覺像二次打擊…
SPEED DATING, 如我好朋友說, 可能有令人驚喜的意外, 雖然是令人不開心的意外, 但可以確定, 我沒辦法從這方式找對象, 這種方式與在酒吧裡認識人有和差異? 大家還是你厄我詐, 離開的時候, 我禮貌的對對面的女生說FB上見, 她才坦承她用的是假名(我還藝名勒), 我都不知道說什麼好… 還是… 回家看蝴蝶姐姐好了…
一開始, 就遲到了近一個小時, 朋友先打電話來, 問我去了哪, 我趁機問我們有沒有對手, 朋友說沒有, 我才慢慢的過去, 還是自己意願不高, 對這活動的期望不高.
場地內, 人聲鼎沸, 有點像股票市場, 也有點像廟會, 我被安排到自己的座位上, 與認識的朋友交換了一個眼神, 他的眼神有點憂傷, 我的眼神大概是你居然騙我, 哪有漂亮的對象! 有三分一的女生不是台灣人, 但百分百的女生是要找對象的…
兩分半認識一個人很困難, 聊一模一樣的東西也很困難, 女生大多問我工作是什麼, 男生大多問女生年紀是多少, 很明顯看得出來男女要的東西的差異.
最後, 每個人要選自己喜歡的對象, 雖然自己沒有喜歡的對象, 但還是有不知哪來的花痴自信, 相信應該還是有幾個會喜歡我, 結果… 一個都沒有, 二十二個女生一個都沒選我, 對自信有很大的打擊.
和朋友吃飯, 被笑了一頓, 一是嫌我說話太油, 二是說我過胖, 感覺像二次打擊…
SPEED DATING, 如我好朋友說, 可能有令人驚喜的意外, 雖然是令人不開心的意外, 但可以確定, 我沒辦法從這方式找對象, 這種方式與在酒吧裡認識人有和差異? 大家還是你厄我詐, 離開的時候, 我禮貌的對對面的女生說FB上見, 她才坦承她用的是假名(我還藝名勒), 我都不知道說什麼好… 還是… 回家看蝴蝶姐姐好了…
9/25/2009
金融海嘯不算什麼
昨天有位朋友, 在電話上說, 我很厲害, 做金融這行, 時機壞壞, 感情生活又是風風雨雨, 現在還可以這麼樂觀, 面帶微笑.
我說, 我真的不算什麼, 還有朋友也做金融, 還感今年買房, 娶妻, 壓力不知有多大, 那才利害.
其實, 自己也沉靜了一陣, 每天收看台灣那些沒營養的綜藝節目, 學學東西, 就熬過來了. 在外的, 還是好的留給別人.
我記得金融海嘯開始沒多久, 見過一對八十多歲的客戶, 問他們會不會緊張, 他們說他們大風大浪看多了, 從內戰, 北京逃到上海, 在從上海到越南, 遇到越戰, 在從越南到香港, 從香港到美國, 再到加國, 天災人禍, 戰爭, 多少次需要從頭開始, 比起來, 我們真的沒什麼.
再說, 最糟的也過了, 還有什麼好不樂觀?
我說, 我真的不算什麼, 還有朋友也做金融, 還感今年買房, 娶妻, 壓力不知有多大, 那才利害.
其實, 自己也沉靜了一陣, 每天收看台灣那些沒營養的綜藝節目, 學學東西, 就熬過來了. 在外的, 還是好的留給別人.
我記得金融海嘯開始沒多久, 見過一對八十多歲的客戶, 問他們會不會緊張, 他們說他們大風大浪看多了, 從內戰, 北京逃到上海, 在從上海到越南, 遇到越戰, 在從越南到香港, 從香港到美國, 再到加國, 天災人禍, 戰爭, 多少次需要從頭開始, 比起來, 我們真的沒什麼.
再說, 最糟的也過了, 還有什麼好不樂觀?
9/24/2009
Summer of '09
It has been a very productive summer for me, things are getting better at work, reconnect with my high school buddies, worked/joined many weddings, 2nd gig as best man, picked up tennis again, got my first real six-string, went to Kelowna for the first time after almost 10 years, vegas for the sixth time... Although, there is still a void on the relationship side, I had the chance to meet many interesting girls. It was a good 92 days of summer! Autumn is going to be good too, first with first Canucks game in 17 years, ended in a shootout (even though it was just a pre-season game), I have 2 more concerts to go to! Including my favourite, Bryan Adams!
Summer of 69
I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '69
Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shualda known we'd never get far
Oh when I lock back now
That was seemes to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life
(CHORUS)
Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in
And that's when I met you
Standin on a mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was no or never
Those were the best days of my life
(Chorus) Back in Summer of '69
Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, no
And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Somethimes when I play that old six-string
I think about ya wonder what went wrong
Standin' on a mama's porch
You told me it would last forever
Oh the way you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life
(Chorus) Back in summer of '69
Summer of 69
I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '69
Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shualda known we'd never get far
Oh when I lock back now
That was seemes to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life
(CHORUS)
Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in
And that's when I met you
Standin on a mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was no or never
Those were the best days of my life
(Chorus) Back in Summer of '69
Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, no
And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Somethimes when I play that old six-string
I think about ya wonder what went wrong
Standin' on a mama's porch
You told me it would last forever
Oh the way you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life
(Chorus) Back in summer of '69
9/22/2009
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