Being a dad

Ms cake is having a boy, it came with certain joy and dread.

When growing up in taiwan, my father has been somewhat invovled.

I remember him taking my brother and I to hiking.
I remember train rides from grandparents house and he was really patient with me being annoying, crying about being hungry the whole 4 hours. 
I remember my father cried because I stole. 
I remember my father hit me when I did poorly in class exams.
I remember the nights when I couldn't sleep because of nightmares, I crawled out my bunk bed and looked at my father a room away, I saw him dozing off while reading newspaper at his desk, I would whisper "dad", hoping he could hear me.

Then, I moved to Canada.

I remember his care package, filled with computer gaming magazines, and other stuff, every month.  Sometimes written letters from him.

For the most part of teenage years and adulthood, my father hasn't been around.

That is the part that worries me.  If ms. cake is having a girl, it will be a fresh start, I wouldn't know how to be a dad to a girl anyways.  With a boy, however, I worry.  I worry that what the relationship I have with my dad will be there between my boy and me...

I don't know Gino

Gino Odjick has recently been diagnosed with a terminal heart condition, and he might have only a few weeks left.  The support from public has been nothing short of amazing.  Hundreds of fans actually went to the hopsital and chatted Gino.

I have to say, I don't know Gino at all.  Back in 1990, when he was drafted, he wasn't the scoring winger, not the defenseman, but an enforcer.  Someone who has to start and finish fights.  Someone who requires the least skill as a hocky player to win games.  Enforcers are also known to be itimitating assholes, their fists usually earn most of their NHL salaries.

Gino, like other enforcers, were feared on the ice, became good buddy with Pavel Bure (who I actually recognise).  Unlike most enforcers, or Pavel in most cases, he is said to be a person with great heart off the ice.

He spends lots of time in the community where he came from, never forgetting his aboriginal root.  He is loved by most reporters because he is polite and bilingual. 

To this day, not many people can hear their names been chatted in a hockey game.  In Gino's case, it was extra special, because he is not an amazing hockey player.  Fans chatted Gino because he is an amazing person...

鋼筆

我現在手上有一隻ebay買的鋼筆, 仿Montblanc的starwalker, 才六塊加幣, 另外又買了六塊加幣的墨水, 這一切都是滿足我年輕時的回憶.

在出國前, 我是台灣的國中生, 每天就是上課下課, 考試又考試, 無聊得很, 同學有天帶了支鋼筆來學校. 那個同學是個品學兼優的好學生, 寫的一手好字, 當然, 我就有了喝劉德華代言的茶會比較帥的心態, 被這新奇的玩意給吸引.  雖然鋼筆已經沒有幾十年前高貴, 但對只有不太多零用錢的我, 幾百塊錢台幣的原子筆代用品真的很高貴.

於是我常常趁晚自習之前的晚餐時間, 在學校附近, 夜市裡的金石堂閒逛, 看那其實也不是名牌, 但也是擺在玻璃櫃裡的鋼筆們.

終於有一天, 鼓起了勇氣, 買了一隻非常陽春的鋼筆, 不銹鋼筆身, 細細長長比較像原子筆, 要嫁好像是八九百元.

鋼筆其實沒原子筆好寫, 墨水麻煩, 又容易壞, 不耐摔, 但寫出來的字跡有鋼筆的特色, 墨水隨筆畫有深有淡.

我開始練習用鋼筆寫字簽名, 還為了省墨水錢, 自己買大瓶的墨水慢慢用, 還調配紫色的墨水來用.  寫了一陣子的鋼筆, 我的字還是很醜, 現在有像手上中國製的超便宜鋼筆, 鋼筆也不稀奇了, 但我永遠記得在金石堂買我第一支鋼筆的感覺, 第一次握在手中直到他發燙的溫暖.

Bye bye dear old friend

Toby was my roommate for 7 years, I have seen her been good, been bad, and got old.  Cannot believe she is that old now.

I remember the time she hangs out with me in the living room, watching tv with me, bugging me by pushing my shoulder with her paws.  I didn't know back then she needed to go out of the house to pee.

Then, there was the howling before meals.  She was chubby, so she was not allowed to eat alot, but she ate fast, licked her bowl clean.

There was the time when we found a nest of young birds dropped from our roof.  We syringe fed each of them until they were big enough to fly out.  None of them came back to visit us, except the youngest one. 

One day we saw the young bird sitting in the lawn waiting for us to see it.  And then Toby went after the bird.

Maybe Toby was trying to play with the bird, maybe it was her hunting natural.  Either way, the young bird was a dead bird after a few hours of suffering after we rescued it from Toby's paws.

I remember how Toby ungracefully dragged her ass on carpet, I remember how every time I tried to take her out for a walk she would aimlessly walk in front behind besides me, sniffing everything around her like it was the first time she went for a walk.  She was a tough dog to walk.

I think I am going to miss her.

Time really really flies...

It felt like yesterday, when Sidney Crosby scored the winning goal.  I looked down from a second floor pub at a Sunday noon.  People came out of their houses and filled the streets.

They chanted "go canada go", they sang Oh Canada. 

It was 2010, and I remembered asking myself why we don't see that in Taiwan?  Why is there always political fighting, why is there always blue and green. 

Its 2014 now, with winter olympics on TV, still the same situation, seeing news of taiwanese tourists misbehave in Japan airport.  It makes me wonder, where is Taiwan heading to?