愛情初體驗 – SPEED DATING

原以為我不會需要到去試這種活動, 在社團的壓力與誘惑下, 還是參加了.

一開始, 就遲到了近一個小時, 朋友先打電話來, 問我去了哪, 我趁機問我們有沒有對手, 朋友說沒有, 我才慢慢的過去, 還是自己意願不高, 對這活動的期望不高.

場地內, 人聲鼎沸, 有點像股票市場, 也有點像廟會, 我被安排到自己的座位上, 與認識的朋友交換了一個眼神, 他的眼神有點憂傷, 我的眼神大概是你居然騙我, 哪有漂亮的對象! 有三分一的女生不是台灣人, 但百分百的女生是要找對象的…

兩分半認識一個人很困難, 聊一模一樣的東西也很困難, 女生大多問我工作是什麼, 男生大多問女生年紀是多少, 很明顯看得出來男女要的東西的差異.

最後, 每個人要選自己喜歡的對象, 雖然自己沒有喜歡的對象, 但還是有不知哪來的花痴自信, 相信應該還是有幾個會喜歡我, 結果… 一個都沒有, 二十二個女生一個都沒選我, 對自信有很大的打擊.

和朋友吃飯, 被笑了一頓, 一是嫌我說話太油, 二是說我過胖, 感覺像二次打擊…

SPEED DATING, 如我好朋友說, 可能有令人驚喜的意外, 雖然是令人不開心的意外, 但可以確定, 我沒辦法從這方式找對象, 這種方式與在酒吧裡認識人有和差異? 大家還是你厄我詐, 離開的時候, 我禮貌的對對面的女生說FB上見, 她才坦承她用的是假名(我還藝名勒), 我都不知道說什麼好… 還是… 回家看蝴蝶姐姐好了…

金融海嘯不算什麼

昨天有位朋友, 在電話上說, 我很厲害, 做金融這行, 時機壞壞, 感情生活又是風風雨雨, 現在還可以這麼樂觀, 面帶微笑.

我說, 我真的不算什麼, 還有朋友也做金融, 還感今年買房, 娶妻, 壓力不知有多大, 那才利害.

其實, 自己也沉靜了一陣, 每天收看台灣那些沒營養的綜藝節目, 學學東西, 就熬過來了. 在外的, 還是好的留給別人.

我記得金融海嘯開始沒多久, 見過一對八十多歲的客戶, 問他們會不會緊張, 他們說他們大風大浪看多了, 從內戰, 北京逃到上海, 在從上海到越南, 遇到越戰, 在從越南到香港, 從香港到美國, 再到加國, 天災人禍, 戰爭, 多少次需要從頭開始, 比起來, 我們真的沒什麼.

再說, 最糟的也過了, 還有什麼好不樂觀?

Summer of '09

It has been a very productive summer for me, things are getting better at work, reconnect with my high school buddies, worked/joined many weddings, 2nd gig as best man, picked up tennis again, got my first real six-string, went to Kelowna for the first time after almost 10 years, vegas for the sixth time... Although, there is still a void on the relationship side, I had the chance to meet many interesting girls. It was a good 92 days of summer! Autumn is going to be good too, first with first Canucks game in 17 years, ended in a shootout (even though it was just a pre-season game), I have 2 more concerts to go to! Including my favourite, Bryan Adams!

Summer of 69

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '69

Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shualda known we'd never get far

Oh when I lock back now
That was seemes to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

(CHORUS)

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in
And that's when I met you

Standin on a mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was no or never
Those were the best days of my life

(Chorus) Back in Summer of '69

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, no

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Somethimes when I play that old six-string
I think about ya wonder what went wrong

Standin' on a mama's porch
You told me it would last forever
Oh the way you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

(Chorus) Back in summer of '69

紅色炸彈

這是我每期必看的網誌"我是馬克",最近的文章,我今年也被炸了很多次,還不敢用Mark的招數...

同事相處解析-紅炸彈

Even the ugly ones do...

Okay, this story might trigger flames from female readers, so just to make things clear, I didn't say this and it wasn't my experience, but I kinda agree with him though.

A friend return to Vancouver is still single, I asked him why that is. He said he is more interested in girls from Taiwan, fair enough, keep the Taiwanese blood line pure. But there must be enough "supply" of Taiwanese girls over there to keep his relationship life interesting.

He said the girls he met over there are those who have just come to North America, meaning that they didn't grow up here. What is wrong with that? I asked.

The expectations are very different, for those who left taiwan early, they still have mindset of early days, that is "low expectations". I remember I had a Hong Kong classmate from University, he only dated Taiwanese girls, not that he isn't good looking, but he told me Taiwanese girls have lower expectations. Little things you do for them, they will appreciate a lot more than girls from Hong Kong.

That is easy to explain, imagine someone who has the luxury to have lobsters/shark fins on a regular basis, it will be hard to impress that person with anything in that class.

Girls in Taiwan nowadays are different now, much more like the Hong Kong girls we know, they have expectations, guys are supposed to this, guys are supposed to do that. What my friend doesn't like is that they have expectations, but it is not like they have more to bring to the table.

For example, they would expect guys to pay for meals, even though they know the guys are not interested in them and it wasn't a date. KTV? guys will pick up the tab. But do they actually do more? No...

The worst part? My friend added, "Even the ugly ones do..."

Somebody...

I been looking for someone
Between the fire and the flame
Were all looking for something
To ease the pain
Now who can you turn to
When its all black and white
And the winners are losers
You see it every night

I need somebody
Somebody like you
Everybody needs somebody

I need somebody
Hey what about you
Everybody needs somebody
When youre out on the front line
And youre watching them fall
It doesnt take long to realize
It aint worth fighting for

I thought I saw the madonna
When you walked in the room
Well your eyes were like diamonds
And they cut right through - oh they cut right through

I need somebody
Somebody like you
Everybody needs somebody
I need somebody
Hey what about you
We all need somebody

Another night another lesson learned
Its the distance keeps us sane
But when the silence leads to sorrow
We do it all again - all again

__________________________________________

by Bryan Adams, getting ready for his concert!

Say Yes

不知道怎麼網上碰到的, 我看過的第一部日劇, 101次求婚主題曲, 恰克與飛鳥

你管

在和你一起渡過的日子裏　根本沒有所謂多餘的東西
這一切都算是我倆戀情的內容

縱然也有些小小的謊言和任性
但是　那些都是為了試煉我的情侶之間的愛情遊戲

為何不讓我倆就這樣　把夢都放在一起
自自然然的　開始一起生活

為了想感受到愛　就必須也以愛來回報
可千萬別把它存放在玻璃盒中

要我說多少次都可以　我要全部說出來
你的倩影永遠圍繞在我四周

言語的力量　是無法超越內心的
雖然非常想要說給你聽　但終究無法完整的表達出心中的意思

在那些想要見妳卻見不到妳的寂寞夜裡
身處在星空築起的屋頂下　我明瞭了甚麼叫情侶們的憂傷

為何不讓我倆就這樣地　一起來迎接每個早晨
永遠在一起　永遠在一起生活

為了想感受到愛　就必須也以愛來回報
別讓我們　忘掉了置身在戀愛中的感覺

要我說多少次都可以　我想你是真的在
你是真的在愛著我
不要猶豫　 SAY YES　不要猶豫

為了想感受到愛　就必須也以愛來回報
別讓我們　忘掉了置身在戀愛中的感覺

要我說多少次都可以　我想你是真的在
你是真的在愛著我
SAY YES

但這mtv有點讓人覺得歲月不饒人, 比較一下SNL模仿90年代男孩團體, 這個更讚, 90末代男孩團體. 音樂還真不錯聽.

藏朋友的朋友

好像人越大,越多不喜歡的人, 最近討厭的人又加一種, 就是藏朋友的人.

不知道有沒有遇過這種朋友, 他會跟你說晚上要和他的朋友吃飯, 但他明知道他的朋友你也認識, 但就是故意不說, 不知道是扮神秘, 或是要扮朋友比較多.

另一種朋友就是從來不會介紹其他朋友給你認識, 你可能認識他很多年, 十幾年老交情, 去過大小活動, 每次他都是單槍匹馬出現, 某一天才發現, 原來很多朋友都認識他, 但他從來也沒提過, 還要感謝facebook一類的交友網頁, 才知道有重複的朋友.

以前好像從來不介意這種事情, 但最近開始覺得這種朋友不夠意思, 可能是年紀到了, 容易動怒...

The wedding diary

I have just gone to my 6th or 7th wedding this year. This year has been exceptionally difficult since i am at that age where at least someone you know at the wedding will ask when will be my time... hard to answer that one.

There were wedding indoor, wedding outdoor, wedding by the sea, wedding on a golf course, wedding in pink, wedding in white, reception in luxury hotel, reception in vintage house, drunk bride's maid, drunk relatives, nervous grooms, nervous emcees...

I ran into the same commissioner 3 times, same videographer twice, same photographer 3 times, same pianist 2 times, ran into high schoolmates i didn't know back then, ran into colleagues who i didn't know would be at the wedding, ran into groom's sister i thought i didn't know...

There were funny ones, there were touching ones, but every single wedding has the same scene, where they held their hands at the alter, looked into each other's eyes like nothing else matters, that is love, and that is why i attend every wedding i was invited to!

寂寞很OK 一個人OK 習慣就OK

今天晚上聽到張震嶽的ok, 聽的很出神, 他的歌很少有這麼不重複的歌詞...

生命之中　有多少經歷　還值得細細回憶
尤其是感情那些刻骨銘心的回憶
好多年　都不曾忘記　我們都在尋找真愛
花錢也不能買　但是你問我甚麼是愛　它沒有正確答案
只能憑感覺　在人海裡尋找所謂的愛
有人隨便玩玩　有人拼了老命在玩　有人一輩子沒有伴
過著東奔西跑的日子　來到不熟悉的城市特別容易孤寂
想著揮之不去的問題　尤其面對自己總是沒有頭緒
感情和個人的平衡點　常常失去重心
鋼索上風一吹就會掉下去　有時卻想放棄
搖搖欲墜　其實最自私是自己

我可不想裝的很可悲　好讓人家來給我安慰
這一段時間我很OK　頂多入夜時候早早睡
當然還是有一些小小的寂寞在身邊
寂寞很OK　一個人OK　習慣就OK
寂寞很OK　一個人OK　習慣就OK

走一步算一步算尋尋覓覓當你遇到一個喜歡的人
卻不想在一起　有時只想一夜情而已
放了真感情　卻害怕自由會失去
這世界上只有兩種人　男人和女人　每天上演同樣的劇情
誰又愛上誰　誰又背叛誰　誰又傷了誰
樂此不疲的表演好累　但是沒有人能夠　脫離　再翻離
誰可以跨越出去　結果因人而異
有的失守終生　有的繼續等
有的乾脆剃度　永遠不再過問
這紅塵滾滾心中是否沸騰　是否還有時間值得繼續等
曲終人散走在陌生的街上　剩我一個人唱

我可不想裝的很可悲好讓人家來給我安慰
這一段時間我很OK　頂多入夜時候早早睡
當然還是有一些小小的寂寞在身邊
寂寞很OK　一個人OK　習慣就OK
愛情面貌我試圖瞭解　卻把自己搞的很狼狽
有一段時間我不OK　把靈魂關在黑暗裡面
當然還是有一些小小的痛苦在身邊
寂寞很OK　一個人OK　習慣就OK
寂寞很OK　一個人OK　習慣就OK

婚禮中的非愛情故事

在人群中, 她一眼就認出他了, 雖然他沒有看著她. 她站在美麗的新娘子旁, 百感交集. 他看起來老了許多, 耳鬢的短髮斑白, 不知道他過得好不好, 他太太穿的時髦得體, 一臉興奮的看著新娘.

他是她的初戀, 從高中開始交往了六年, 最後分手的原因是他想結婚,但她不想, 她覺得她還想多認識自己. 最後一次電話, 他跟她說他又開始交往了, 也很順利, 說不定會結婚, 他還開玩笑的說, 如果他結婚, 她欠他一個大紅包, 也許是玩笑, 她想也沒想的就答應了.

幾個月後, 從共同的朋友聽說他結婚了, 所有的高中朋友都會去, 唯獨她沒被邀請, 這應該不算意外, 但其實她很想去, 很想看他幸福的樣子. 令人難過的是, 他對朋友說, 他不希望她把他的婚禮搞砸.

她托朋友送了一個999美金的紅包, 雖然那時候她的月薪並不多, 但畢竟有答應, 而且認識了十年, 又曾經是最好的朋友, 不為過吧?

沒想, 被他的母親退回了, 說太多了. 她想想也是, 搞不好旁人會覺得她別有居心, 她參考了朋友的金額, 又送了一個紅包, 還是被退回, 這次連理由都不給, 就說實在不方便.

後來, 聽到朋友說到他的風風雨雨, 也不知道他開不開心…

忽然間, 掌聲響起, 新娘和新郎接受眾人的祝福. 他們的眼神終於碰上, 他禮貌的點一點頭, 她也點頭回理, 她想, 時間也過了那麼久, 也許這不是一個屬於自己的愛情故事…

婚禮一二三

上星期日, 是一位好朋友的婚禮, 很榮幸可以做伴郎, 雖然主持很多次, 伴郎還只是第二次. 上次陪嫁是多年前, 因為是在台灣, 能做的事情就少了點, 這次不一樣, 從伴遊到單身派對, 從佈置到照相, 全部都來一些.

主持, 食物, 親友, 遊戲… 每樣東西都很完美的演出.

酒過三巡, 一個白目的朋友過來問,
“你的女朋友呢?”,
“er…分手了”,
“這麼會? 她很好阿, 她很漂亮阿, 我以為你們會結婚耶…”
“她很好阿, 可是我們常吵架…”
“這麼會? 她很好阿..”
“妳有沒有試過魚, 超讚的”

這次婚禮最不一樣的是, 參與的多, 到後來有一點酸酸的, 不是忌妒的酸, 是心酸酸,看一桌桌朋友都已經修成正果, 不知道哪天才有自己的? 還真敗犬…

Being Flexible or being Yourself?

Any relationship involves some type of power struggle, you want this, the other person wants that. How you treat each other sometimes becomes a problem. Do you want to be the true-self, and be honest with what you like and dislike, or do you want to be flexible, and try to make the other person happy. It is much easier just being yourself, it is a lot harder to be flexible, 'cause you will be doing a lot of things you do not like in the bottom of your heart, you might lose yourself, you might even dislike yourself.

The other day, my dear married friend with 2 kids told me, they are not mutually exclusive, you can be yourself and be flexible, you have to do it via compromises.

The example, if the wife wants to go out with her gal friends during weekend, he could argue with her, and tell her that kids will need her too. The wife might fight back with, "I have spent so much time with kids already, it is your time to do the fatherly part", it could very easily escalate to a big fight. But what he did instead was telling her it was great that she can hang out with her gal friends, and he will drive her to the places she wants to go, and taking kids along for the ride. So, instead of fights, she will be more understanding when he wants to go out with guy friends sometimes.

Love and Compromises, secret to sustainbility of any relationship!

你為什麼沒有女朋友

參加婚禮是開心的事,直到認識的長輩開始關心,什麼時候要換你,我的回答是,還沒有對象,接下來就一定是... 你為什麼沒有女朋友?

昨天出去一天,大概被認識不認識,長輩,年輕輩,問了超過十次.當下還真的答不出來,因為也不是不知道自己喜歡什麼菜,只是沒有在買菜而已.

大部分的人會自己接下去說,男生沒關係,要不,就是一定是你太挑了.這我倒從來不否認,我見過太多自稱不挑的男女,不挑收入,不挑身高,但就挑一個最難的-感覺,不喜歡就說感覺不對...那還是挑嘛~

好啦,我很挑,但我又沒在找,還不知道從哪挑冽?

有個朋友建議,如果我不喜歡同事或客人介紹,可以試試JUST FOR LUNCH或EHARMONY一類的徵婚方式,我是忍住沒把她踹下車,她說我又不從身邊的找,每次出去又嫌妹不是已經認識,就已經結婚了,不如試試有科學根據,沒有COMMITMENT的交友方式...我還真的不知道怎麼回她 (OLIVER,你趕快把你的交友網建起來吧...)

還有人說,你一定很多人追...雖然我活在21世紀,男生被女生追還真的不常見,我想一定是我看起來很多人追,所以就沒有人敢追我...最好是...

也有人說,你一定太油腔滑調,不正經,這也是真的,要突破女性對我這個第一印象很不容易...

但真正的原因我覺得還是...我沒真的去找...或者另一種講法,沒有遇到,再者,用女性同胞的講法,就是沒有感覺對的.又要喜歡,又要適合自己...太多去想了.

現在如果有長輩問,什麼時候好事,我的答案會是...我弟的好事應該比我近,去問他吧...

女性一生哭多久?

女生的淚線天生比較發達,最近英國一家公司的調查,一個女人78年裡平均累計1.2萬個小時,大約16個月.但哭的原因會隨年齡改變.根據報導:

出生後頭1年，女嬰平均1天要哭3個小時，原因為感到飢餓、需要換尿布、生病和要大人陪她玩耍等。

在1歲到3歲之間，女孩會因為受傷、疲勞和因淘氣受到責備等原因，平均每天哭2小時5分鐘。

在4歲到12歲之間，女孩子平均每週哭2小時11分鐘。導致她們哭泣的主要原因包括受傷、做錯事受到責備以及自我感覺糟糕等。

13歲到18歲的少女平均每週哭2小時13分鐘，導致她們哭泣的主要原因是體內荷爾蒙水平發生變化、同朋友爭吵、被男友甩掉或是被限制活動範圍等。

在19歲到25歲的女性，平均每週哭2小時14分鐘，看了感傷的電影、對已維持很久的戀情猶豫不決，或是失去心愛的人都可能導致她們流淚。

26歲以後，女性平均每週哭泣的時間雖然仍是2小時14分鐘，但原因有所變化。與戀人分手、聽到其他人的壞消息，或是感覺疲憊不堪都會讓她們透過哭泣來釋放不良情緒。

天阿...2小時14分,134分,平均一天快20分?有沒有太誇張?要是遇到一位還沒跟上進度的女性不是很可怕嗎,哪天她卯起來跟進度,要哭個五六個月不停那還得了.

其實,我很羨幕女性,有哭泣的權利,很想知道,男性一生之中又有幾天可以哭?