Any relationship involves some type of power struggle, you want this, the other person wants that. How you treat each other sometimes becomes a problem. Do you want to be the true-self, and be honest with what you like and dislike, or do you want to be flexible, and try to make the other person happy. It is much easier just being yourself, it is a lot harder to be flexible, 'cause you will be doing a lot of things you do not like in the bottom of your heart, you might lose yourself, you might even dislike yourself.
The other day, my dear married friend with 2 kids told me, they are not mutually exclusive, you can be yourself and be flexible, you have to do it via compromises.
The example, if the wife wants to go out with her gal friends during weekend, he could argue with her, and tell her that kids will need her too. The wife might fight back with, "I have spent so much time with kids already, it is your time to do the fatherly part", it could very easily escalate to a big fight. But what he did instead was telling her it was great that she can hang out with her gal friends, and he will drive her to the places she wants to go, and taking kids along for the ride. So, instead of fights, she will be more understanding when he wants to go out with guy friends sometimes.
Love and Compromises, secret to sustainbility of any relationship!
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